With TV Came Happiness

The Wii Mario Krat has appeared on the scene ready to ruin my social life, such as it is. The danger comes in the form of Baby Daisy the trampiest baby since I was born. I’ve always had an affinity for the sneaky little bitch Daisy, Peach’s pal, who’s better at everything than her loser blonde friend. She knows what she wants and takes it, be it Peaches man, Mario or Luigi or Waluigi or Wario or Toad or Donkey Kong or King Bowser. Shes had ‘em all and they come back for more. Now that a baby doppleganger of her has been created can the world handle two Daisys? I’m not so sure. Who has a picture with her breasts pushed out like the picture of Daisy below? No self respecting woman, that’s who. She disgusts me. Disgusts me so hard.

Meanwhile we have that walking sex joke, Birdo. Lets not speak of the obvious reason but instead look at the situation with Birdo and Yoshi from above. I don’t know what shes doing with him but he loves that shit. The old reach around or something. Go Birdo. Dominate that bitch.

Our final awesome Mario Kart participant is Waluigi or the King Pimp. Hes one cool mother who’d rather smack that whore for what she deserves than do any work for himself. No one should mess with him lest they get a shoe in their ass or a knife in their gut.

Pictures property of the Nintendos. They should be ashamed.

P. S. Are they seriously joking with Queen Blowjob up there? She’s mighty impressive, I’ll give them that. Easy joke!

Holy Shit I’m happy. Sophie Ellis Bextor had scrapped her greatest Hits idea in order to work on a 4th album instead. Woot. Shes working with Calvin Harris and the Freemasons and Cathy Dennis. That sounds like a very loverly combination indeed. I’m all excited and shit now. Faggotry. I will leave you for today with my very favorite singer ever singing a song that is one of my very favorites. Very.

Eww. I did something truly despicable today. I was in closing with this wiener woman Betty, or as I call her, Birdo, and the couple who we were doing the closing for had a stupid one year old walking around. It decided it would be best to shove its fingers into a light socket. But what did i do as it was doing it? I yelled at it and snapped my fingers. Like it was a dog or something. One more evil beast could have been gone for good if I hadn’t. Why oh why did I let it live. Now I have a baby’s survival on my hands. I feel really guilty. God won’t be happy about that one. The kids name was Zadyn too. Who the fuck names their stupid child Zadyn?

This picture makes me very sad. That little girl will never know her father, the dearly departed, Chris Farley. Perhaps its a gender confused clone.

So I knows everyone doesn’t get the whole comic thing but I dig ‘em so you will have to suffer through it. Agree? If not then fuck you. Beep.
I have 4 comics coming my way tomorrow and here they be:

X-Force 3: The X-men’s violent as shit team. I hate all of the good guys on it but from previews it looks like they are bringing back about 5 X-villains who really hate mutants. And I happen to love these villains. Despicable monsters with no souls. Sounds like my kind of people. Heres my fav. of the bunch, the crazy robotic fucked up bastard Cameron Hodge. Pretty.

Uncanny X-men 497: If only for the opening shot of Angel’s abs I’m getting this. I feel odd that a cartoon stirs my loins. Am I a bad person? The answer is yes. I like the X-men. They are good. There is that a better explanation for getting this issue? God I hate you people.

Ms. Marvel 26: I dont know why I am getting this issue besides that I like Machine Man, a recurring character. He is a complete dick but hes funny as hell. Ms. Marvel is eh but this M.A. scene is hilarious.

Young Avengers Presents 4: Vision

I love the Young Avengers. With two queerbos on the time how could I not? This issue will deal with Baby Vision and the girl he loves, Baby Ant-man (woman) getting manhandled by some men in bee-keeper hats. Sounds like a normal Wednesday. I’ve always been partially to The Vision but now its a bit awkward since he’s on the same team with his ex wife’s kids and hes sleeping with one of their kid friends. I know he’s an android and his original form died or something but who wants to be convilutedly statutory. So that wasn’t too painful was it? I hope so.

Here is my parting gift before I go to sleep for the evening. It’s a picture from a recent issue of The Fantasic Four that I don’t read. By looking at this I imagine the Fantastic Four have to kill an army of demon children controlled by the Anti-Christ because kids really shouldn’t look this way. They are about 3 Juicy Juices away from rending the flesh from our bones and then filing those bones down to points to roast our organs over the campfire.

Woot to Marco for figuring this shit out. Now i can put up this post about my other current musical obsession Robyn. She’s the girl from Sweden, you know, that one. She did some stuff in the 90s that was sort of okay and the pap smear that is American pop music lapped that shit up. Now shes doing some really good business and America will most likely ignore it because they smell of meat or something. Oh well that’s life. A bucket of rabbit shit put in a blender.

This is the much better version of her video for “Handle Me”. The other one is sort of troubley in terms of her eyebrow situation and I don’t care for situations where people are filmed from above but they try to trick you into thinking they are filmed from the side. Sneaky bitches.

I found out a terrible terrible secret today. Its all about your STDs. You know, the ones you aren’t aware of. Yes I know all about ‘em. So stay away for I hate you and your diseases. Here’s an ointment to keep all of that funk at bay. It’s a special picture brought to you by everything that is good and holy.

Whilst waiting to find out where we will be going out drinking this evening I stumbled upon a wondrous clip on the Yube from which I may never recover. Three of my favorite singers ever have joined together for a magnificent performance the likes of which not even Jesus could possibly fathom. Here in all its breathtaking glory is a powerful rendition of “Danny Boy”

Meanwhile here is a pretty picture of an awful creature yelling. I’m speaking of course of that little monster on the left ruining everyone’s lives with her very existence. The pony immediately died of an aneurysm caused by her general proximity. Feel sad.

I’ve recently gotten a new musicle (like an icicle but with a mu) obsession in the form of Alphabeat, a group of Danes who come from Daneshire or something. They sing about things and sometimes they don’t sing but instead live their lives but they don’t know I know that. Here’s their video of the song “Boyfriend” which I happen to enjoy and I hope you enjoy but less so for I am king.

From the secret files of their very website. PPS the drummer is cute. That is all.