With TV Came Happiness

So this friendly anthology of the first 3 issues of X-Force came out today. I hate the series with a passion but had to buy it just for the villains on the front bleeding out puppies and rainbows. For those of you who are unaware that people bleed out such things, I say read a medical journal or two. Many people have hemopupbow and they should stand up and be counted. Only then can it be properly treated because after a while puppies want to come out and play and your veins aren’t the right spot for their shenanigans. Other stuff happened in the world of comics. Some folks died, some didn’t. Things happened and didn’t happen.

The End

So I’m just typing random web addresses to see if they work. Here’s a smattering of some of the wonderful sites any child can come across on the interweb.

fucksanta.com: It takes you to a movie about a Muslim woman and a Jewish guy in love. I don’t know what that means but fuck Santa!

donkeyrapist.com: Something I’m happy exists. I don’t know why someone else is as fucked up as i am to even thing that website is funny. But make sure you realize It doesn’t have donkeys being raped! So if you like that sort of thing then this site will disappoint.

hobofarm.com: A real website that’s damn boring. Energy? Who wants to read about that. Saving the Environment? That’s for fat people! Next.

fetusrangers.com: This site is scary and makes me sad. I don’t understand it. Something about the movie The Fifth Element and then it all goes terribly terribly wrong.

http://infants-blood.info The greatest website ever created. Its the piece de resistance of the freak website name community. Its damn nuts and makes me giddy like a 7 year old girl with a new pony strapped to her thigh. Thigh strapping ponies are best. I really want to make a Reduced-Carbohydrate Infant’s Blood Cherry Cheesecake. It sounds really lovely. “Who can forget Grandmother’s fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, served with a glass of steaming hot infant’s blood?” I sure know I can’t. Those were the days. A winter night in Front Royal playing the piano and having my fill of the blood and cookies. There ain’t no party like my Nana’s tea party.

Here’s my gift to the world for this, my cousin Annette Benning’s day of birth. Bambi’s a boy! Don’t fuck this up Russians.

fetus- Gorilla Daze blog, Santa- Steve Hopson

This donkey makes up for everything bad that’s ever happened in my life. Thank goodness he’s around to turn my frown into a smirk because I cant smile. Smiles are for people who have souls. I’m a ghost. Weeeoooooo.

The Billionaires is a new band i have heard about on the XM radio. There ain’t no video for this song which is a damned shame because the picture of the CD cover is fucking boring. But the song is good and fun and poppy like some queer.

Ive fallen in love and had intercourse with the DVD and CD for The Flight of the Conchords. I can’t stop singing the following song so I will pass the disease on. These words have etched their way into my brains and won’t let go. P.S. The beach killed my posts but I’m in town so I have a chance to write stupid stuff!

Redheads ruled the Marvel August Solicitations this week. I know you all hate this shit but I love it so pass this post up or die. Sorry I didn’t mean that. My cycle is synched up to my roommate’s.

Hellcat has to fight off a giant phallus from trying to have its way with her while Medusa just hangs out naked with her husbands clothes. What a way to live.

I love the Ting Tings. They are freaks and us freaks gotta stick together. Having said that I don’t understand the video. All of the food has to go to the party in the monsters stomach and I don’t know if I’m having an acid flashback or something. I guess that would have to mean in my past at some point I encountered smiling food and a stripy monster. Which i did. It was your mother.

They wont let me embed this video anymore! Bitches. Here is the link to it on the yube. I will add another yube in its place. Her is a good’n. I missed them in concert because I wasn’t invited. Cunts.

I went to Front Royal this weekend and am including new pictures of me.

Here I am stealing some pants from the neighbors. Country folk will never miss them.

Here I am coming out of the cabin after a quiet relaxing night.

Here I am performing a ritual on a neighborhood kid. Is he a witch? Did he sink or swim?

1. Hyena. This animal is pure evil. He’ll kill your family and friends and everyone you know that you ever loved. That’s why he’s the greatest animal ever.

He laughs in the face of your proclaimed sexuality and stomps on your feelings of “love” and “charity”. To him all the world should be pain and death starting with you. So to you Mr. Hyena I applaud you. You make everyone else around you look friendly and good and non-murderous, three things I’m trying very hard to make people see in me. It’s difficult but with pictures of hyena’s around me, I can do it.

Robin don’t look at this video.

I promise I won’t feature any more animals for a while because, frankly, I’m sick of looking at them. Exterminate them all.

2. Lemur. This animal is actually really cool and not shitty like most on my list. Its cute and funny and interesting. It’s not a novelty animal and I don’t like it because its fucked up. Which is why I’m engaged to one. Here she is in her holding cell. I can see a wide open future when I look in her eyes.

I keep her on a short leash. Prevent the ascent of female masterhood! NO MA’AM.

Shit, that’s all a lie. I’m really sleeping with Zoboomafoo