HUGE NEWS!!! That bitch-hole, Disney bought Marvel Comics! What the holy Hell? Where did this craziness come from and why was no one aware? It’s a scary but also sort of exciting. Lots and lots of money swimming into Marvel’s coffers to make everyone in the world know who a Tigra is or a Rocket Raccoon. I believe in 6 months, they will be the most well known animated figures ever!
Anywho, my new comic store fucked me over hardcore last week and I’m giving them til the end of September to prove me wrong before I go for a G-Town location. (Oof). Also, UPS has cunted it up and want me to sign for my comics I had to order online. But I’m not going to be able to sign! And I’m certainly not driving to Landover. Fuck that. They’d better do what I say, or I’m going to shove a knife into their collective anus.
So, here is the greatest little bit from last week. Who know Groot was hyper-intelligent and that the only person who would understand would be a complete mental patient? And why are the most rational people a complete slut and a talking raccoon? ALSO, what the fuck is a spanner?
I’ve found a new special little bit of fun. Kerri Kenney from The State, Reno 911! and Viva Variety has a wonderful web show about a Nevada cat house madam with some serious problems. Check out the special tour. Kerri Kenney is the best part of everything in which she is involved. Lookie at the link to see all of the good stuff that not on the Yube.
Speaking of Teletubbies (6 posts ago), I found it to be a gateway drug, to the real bit of weirdness that was Tots TV. A special tale, about three creepy creepy puppet children. One a green haired lady-boy, another a French speaking snobby little ho, and the final one, a really really boring dude. WHY THE FUCK DOES ONE CHARACTER SPEAK ONLY IN FRENCH. How the hell are children supposed to know what the bitch says? Also, the have a donkey named Donkey. No idea why puppets need real pets. There is also the puppet dog, who appears randomly and has never been seen by the puppet kids. These three children live in a secret house alone.
The two clips below show why this show is retarded. Just mental. Number 1 is a full episode all about the Tots being bored. The Tots seem to have a general nervous breakdown and start screaming about umbrellas and how great they are. “Those are rain drops, they are.” Also their legs are fucking gross. These three freakshows run around everywhere. “Hello lovely donkey.”
Number 2 has a horrific tale. Donkey has gone missing! Not Lovely Donkey! Tiny acts like a little shit and makes Tom wander around alone for a while, looking for Donkey. “Go and have a look in the woods.” Tiny is a harsh taskmaster. Tilly obviously hates Donkey and Tiny is a serial killer, laughing like a freak at everything. Well Donkey hates her back. So there. Best thing ever is when Donkey wanders behind them every single second. The Tots sing a depressing song near the end that’s sure to chill your very core. Finally, Donkey breaks into their house, probably shitting everywhere. The End.
As a bonus, Tiny ruins everything with his slutty laundry ways. He needs a good spanking, but he likes those, so maybe not. Thingd turn around after a half assed song is sung. Partially by the French girl. With no subtitles. Then the dog creature is a complete asshole. Sadly, its embedding deficient, so check the wonder out HERE.
Comics Wednesday is tomorrow and there are a few pictures of what’s being offered. I found three to be of my liking. You can guess which lady once again shows up and its sort of a prerequisite at this point to post a picture. Here she is for her very own 70th anniversary of Marvel cover.
Another very special young lady appears surprisingly next. That Marvel sneakyily bringing in one of the best (and craziest) characters ever. Multiple personalities super bitch, Aurora, gay Northstar’s slutty sister. I guess she killed a man in this scene. And may of may not be about to sex up super-villain, Norman Osborne.
Also in the “you guessed it” column is Rocket Raccoon and The Guardians of The Galaxy. In this, Rocket goes up against everyone’s favorite insane Inhuman, Maximus the Mad. Or, at least he sneaks up behind him to deliver the hurt. Oh, and Medusa beats the holy hell out of fucking stupid Martyr/Quasar/Captain Marvel/Cunt and a half, Phylla-Vel. How I hate her. Go hairpower!
You’d think I’d be musiced out already this year. But albums are pooping up left and right. Alphabeat! Annie! Just Jack! The Saturdays! Sophie Ellis Bextor! Robbie Williams! All in the span of two months. I’m going to be so very poor. I’ve mentioned the rest, but Annie and Alphabeat were complete surprises.
Alphabeat was my favorite album last year. Will they hold the crown for 2009? Probably not with Sophie releasing, but only time will tell. PopJustice has a snippet of their new song, “The Spell”. Here is the link , so check it out. You can see that shit is being taken seriously. Just check out Stine all dark haired and serious. No more pixie smiling for her. Also, Troels is still hot. And sneaky it seems.
Moving right along, Annie’s second try at her second album is coming out. It’s only taken forever, but Songs Remind Me of You is finally going to be a proper single. It’s only been out for what, two years? Oh well, it’s amazing. Also, she has some new photos that explain her perfectly. Colors and Neon. And swishy hair. NEON.
I never understood the appeal of this dirty bitch. She isnt funny and she just plain sucks. I’m happy that Phyllis Diller kicks this stupid slut’s filthy ass. The best stuff in the clip below starts at 2:32. Phyllis murders her. PWNED!
I hate this genre. Stupid Britney/Gaga/Beyonce territory. It’s probably because she’s British. But I do love the chorus. And holy shit, I hate Florida. I wont call him Flo Rida. That’s just gay. His name is the state to me. Anyways, even he doesnt fuck it up too much. I mean I mentally check out for 20 seconds, but at least I don’t turn it off. The best word ever, “shortie” is said by him. Woof. Sarcasm.
This was premiered today on that piece of shit, Chris Moyles’s show on BBC Radio 1. Later, Scott Mills, the secret love of my life, played it on his show. Afterwards, he read off some listener opinions. Most were positive, but the best one was plain and simple. “Turd” Nothing more.
This all sounds very negative. I once again ask you, why do i like this?
Edit: Well Shit. It was taken down in 12 hours. I’ll post it again one day.
I’m in a typy mood so you’ll be getting a shit ton of posts tonight. The floodgates are open. You will be involved in a noyade (thats a mass execution by drowning, you simpletons. Underwater marriages, mofos! We shall begin tonight with a little tale. A tale of comics future. November future to be exact. Yes, for the Marvel Comics solicitations came out last week and I was just too sexy to put them up. Sexy equaling lazy.
I have three presents for you. Firstly is this ugly piece of caca. Where the holy fuck are Psylocke’s legs? I mean we see vagina, but her legs have been ripped off. Meanwhile, Emma Frost’s cape seems to be part of her body. I want a cape that pops out of my hand. Cyclops is missing his left leg after the knee. Namor abs seems ot start at his neck. There is a magic floating X Emma is standing on. Fuck you Greg Land. You tracing son of a bitch.
Secondly, is the cover for New Mutants. My favorite team ever, The Hellions are back! So they’re zombies, it gives an excuse to bring them back for reals. The best one is Catseye. Guess which one is she is. Also, for some odd reason, Tarot is on the cover even though she’s not dead. Huh wah? How can she have returned form the grave if she’s still alive?
Thirdly, this fanboy moment, brought to you by being a dork. Mighty Avengers promises EVERY good Avengers team coming together. New Avengers, Mighty Avengers, Young Avengers, Avengers Resistance. Do I see Tigra up front ready to beat some ass. Hell yes. Give me more please.
I know the crazy shit I’ve put up before informs who I am, but I think this may be a missing piece to the puzzle. Back in 1998, I had a sort of weird obsession with the Teletubbies. I would go home and watch them every day on PBS. Bare in mind, that I was 16 years old at the time. My favorite character was Dispy, the green Teletubby. He had an issue with constantly pelvic thrusting. He also always hung out with Laalaa, who he tended to do in the back room with Noonoo the living vacuum cleaner watching. Anyways, the tubs loved to dance and one dance in particular sparked the interest of myself and my friend Ana. We would go to Old Town Alexandria at night and do the dance on the stage complete with pelvic thrusts.
The dance is below, but just so we are clear, that is not me. I don’t have a phallus on my head. Afterwards, is Dipsy doing an awesome dance all on his own.
The music of the British Isles is ruining me like no other. I tried to not want Calvin Harris’s new album because I have too many others to buy. I can’t do it. I’ve broken down and ordered it. F. BBC Radio 1 is all about him. The entity basically wants to have sex with him. I’ve been hoping and praying that he would beat that walking turd, Tenchy Stryder to the number 1 album of the week. He succeeded! Oh Happy Day.
Here is the song that broke me down so very much. “Ready for the Weekend” is so gay a whole lot, but it’s damn good. Even when the gay icon sounding slut starts singing. His bits are the best though. Bits= penis and testicles. No! This video involves a lot of circles. Circles that hold another Calvin Harris or some slutty ho. The best slutty ho, as you can clearly see, is the blonde. She looks so crafty. Crafty and disease ridden. Just how I like them.
