With TV Came Happiness

This Wainy Days has the best opening. Just wait til you see the lawnmower. Wainy Nights features the great Lisa LoCicero. Lisa has been in some of the greatest damn shows. You’ll probably know her from Reno 911, as the regular news reporter, Maria Storm. She has also been in two episodes of the amazing bidness that is It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and an episode of Little Britain. She has starred in 4 ABC Soaps; Loving, The City, One Life to Live and General Hospital. She’s always the tough girl with the inner softness. In One Life to Live, she ran a strip club that was really a mob cover operation. But she was also working for the FBI. That Sonia Toledo was dangerous. It was sad they had to get rid of her as the rest of the people in her story had to go as they were shit.

David Wain meets a terrible transvestite and then gets kidnapped by Lisa who is all naked. Then some shooting happens and some twists. Please to peruse.

I’ve put this off for about 600 years, and finally, the time has arrived. The great Phyllis Diller starred with the other great television thespian, Scooby Doo in his series, The New Scooby Doo Movies. The episode in particular was about Phyllis believing one of her husbands had returned from the grave and needing to know the whereabouts of the fortune he left for her. Of course, that slut bag Phyllis talks like some sort of mental patient. She even managed to make a joke about her being an antique. She was the only trophy that ever bagged him (her first husband). What a dirty b. OH SNAP. Raccoon joke. That gold digging whore.

Edit. That shit is gone. Watch “the most beautiful girl in the world” sing “I’m So Pretty”

A week late, but here does nothing. Alphabeat have their music video out for The Spell. It’s quite simple but i still approve. Uvula’s black hair hat/veil deal confuses her hair color, but it is extra French Whore red. I did that once. Accidentally. I went to a hairdresser to get my hair died. I wanted a red tint, But bitch left the dye in for 45 minutes and my hair went bright fuschia pink. Bitch! I went a little crazy and kept a wool cap on covering most of because, still it was a little interesting/cool. The next day, I grabbed a box of dark brown hair dye and added the shit to the mix. My hair came out purple/maroon and I was lauded as a proud VA Tech Hokie. Ha. If only they knew.

Anybeat, I want to wear matching suits with people. Maybe ones with a bit of teal in them. Yessir. For Robins, wedding I’m going to slip in some teal post haste Teal cuffs. This post quickly became un-Alphabeaty, sorry. I posted about the song itself some 15 posts ago. Check it out. And the video is so simple, there isnt much to say. Lots of gay dancing. There. Are you happy?

I found this amazingly creepy video recently. Don’t dress up your animals in clothes. They don’t like it. “Right now, he’s a little uncomfortable”. Of course he is. He’s wearing a fucking tiara and tutu you queer mother fucker. Fuck you. What gay owns a llama?
“They hum because some of them miss relatives.” These people suck. This kid is just making shit up. “My llama hums because it’s sister in-law is going through some tough times right now, you know, with the new baby and all.” Extra fun, the narrator of this piece makes me want to have an abortion. She sounds like a pompous windbaggy bitch who thinks she’s so damn great. Oh, she’ll get whats coming her way.

On my travels in search of the Alexandra Burke video for Bad Boys, I found none that were embeddable. So fuck it. She and FLORIDA can deal with it. I instead stumbled across an official Dragonette video for a song from their new album that won’t end up being a single. It is entitled “Gone Too Far” and the video itself is just scenes from Urban Cowboy. A slight country bit suits Dragonette rather well. Not too much country though. I don’t take kindly to the genre regular-like. The song is great, but not as good as the other three we have heard from the album. PSSSSSS. The picture above is the newly released album cover.

The CW has gotten back in the swing of things a bit earlier than the rest. Series and season premiers everywhere. Well besides Smallville, but who really gives a shit. It’s time for a bit of reviewing and a bit of general mocking.

First up we have Gossip Girl. I’d never seen an episode before the season premier and I have to say, it’s really good, if all you do is fast forward through 90% of it. Penn Badgley (I feel very sad for having known the actor’s name without going on imdb) is hot hot hot and that’s about all I care about. Every time that girl. the poor one? Vanessa appears on the screen I want to rip her creepy rat infested hair-wig-extensioned upon pile of cat rapings off her stupid head. Other things happen on the show. I don’t really know what because all I want to do is punch folks in the face as they fast forward past my eyes. There is the blonde girl named “fill in the blank” who is trying to get her father to get back into contact with her. She does this my flashing the passarassi and getting drink in Europe. Then she rides a horse which is supposedly news-worthy. She has sex with some dude as well. Everyone else just sits around. The End. Oh god .I know his character’s name too! Dan Humphries. Someone stop me!

Other things that suck. The Beautiful Life has Mischa Burton. Burn her she’s a witch! Hell no.

One Tree Hill is starting off rather slow. Too slow. I have already forgotten what has happened so far. I know some slut is trying to pretend she has a sex tape baby? And oh no, the label was almost closed! Boohoo. Also, some new model came to town and is a bitch. Yawn. Meanwhile, Hayley’s sister Boring came to town and she is sad cause her husband is a different man the he used to be. No other explanation. Brooke and Julian are being loving. OOOH. I do like one storyline. Druggy-model-cunt-whore Rachel is back and she is a money grubbing bitch once again. Yes please.

90210. I forgot how much I am not interested in these characters. But for some reason, I like the show. Does that make any sense? Why do I like Annie? She is completely blah, but I still like her. Meanwhile, I actively dislike half of the cast. Dixon, Naomi, Jenn, Laurie Laughlin, Navid, Silver. Shut up. I’m rather interested in watching Kyle McBride from Melrose Place (Rob Estes) try to have intercourse with that slut, Kelly. KELLY! Homewrecker! Also, new blond dude is hot and I approve of Adrianna as I mentioned about a year ago.

Whats left? Melrose. Fuck Melrose. Fucking killing off Sydney. They have already fucked up Melrose history. Totally retconning a bunch of stuff. Sydney was not killed by “someone from her past”. And she certainly didn’t want to fake her death “to save her husband from being killed”. Anyways, that husband killed himself two episodes later! Bwahhaha! Shitty remake show. Fuck you. Fuck you. Everyone else sucks. I want to give them a good twat punch. Boring couple, bisexual bitch blonde is meh. ASHLEY SIMPSON IS A COMPLETE FOOL AND A TERRIBLE ACTRESS. GAAHHHH! Honestly, who gives a fuck. Amanda, Jo, and Jane are coming back. Why didn’t they kill off Jane? How about if I kill off Jane? Also, Sydney is not dead. I have declared it, therefore, it is true. She’s faked her death once, so why can’t she do it again? Also, Fuck.

So what show is the new crown in The CW’s hat? That makes no sense. A crown in a hat? Well, it’s The Vampire Diaries. I know, I know. Vampire craze. It’s a disease. So sue me, I like it. There is a witch girl who has a Picasso eye stuck in her forehead. And we have Degrassi’s own unwed teenage mother-model slut, Mia. An unwed teenager mother-model slut name if I ever heard one. She’s now on this show as the main character and I sort of like her. Why you may ask, I dunno. Maybe I have some Degrassi thing going on. I like her on this show and I like Annie on 90210, another Degrassi alum. Psychology. The dudes are hot, but then this is The CW. They are always hot. Everyone seems like a big ho and thats rather necessary. I am digging the blonde slutbag. Hopefully she doesn’t end up dead since she got bit (improper grammar) last episode.

Wait, for the entire month, I’ve been accidently using the standard grey border for the Yube bars? Oops. Green is the way to go. Though this could all be some sort of metaphor I had yet to notice. Screw continuity, I’m not changing the others. Fuck you.

But, back to normal we are now. Sayeth Yoda. I’ve been keeping this video close to my chest because I keep putting up other music videos and don’t want to overkill. Well, every other song can shit the fuck up, because I love this video.

La Roux finally has a video, I’m Not Your Toy, where things actually happen. No more walking around by herself in interesting fake rooms and cars. Here, La Roux, with what I can only assume is her magic singing powers, makes a party come to life. A weird 1920s Ernest Hemingway style safari pool party. The party comes complete with sallow children who look at each other, a drag queen, Astro from the Jetsons, snobs, an old man who I can only assume is Father Time, the handicapped, back up dancers, FRUIT THAT LOOKS AT YOU!, and an odd assortment of freaks including a random German guy into hammers. Though, once again, it really is her hair that is the star of the show. Check it coming in and out of the water like its her dorsal fin.

Second to last Tuesday of the month party! It’s solicitation time and December is looking to be a sexy little number. So very many comics to buy. I give you a whole bunch of covers for me to comment upon.

This is the comic in which I am most excited. Three of my all time favorite characters lookin like hobags. Taskmaster is pimping it. He’s a complete dick, but I love him and those sluts Black Mamba and Asp haven’t been seen in over a year. It’s good to see them all nearly naked and snakey. Black Mamba is the one who let us in on the secret that Deadpool and Cable were a little hot for each other as were Iron Fist and Luke Cage. Bromance turned gay thanks to that slut on the left.

Necrosha is bringing back all sorts of dead mutants, some I never though would see the light of day again. Berserker and Scaleface were throw-away characters, created to die. But I found them endearing. Well endear this, X-Force. Prepare to get ripped up by a lady who turns into a lizard creature.

To the right is just a quick shot of some of the Imperial Guard as it is their miniseries. I just wanted to highligh my favorite member, Hussar, the electro-ship brandishing bitch with the five-head.

Everyone is getting their own team book including The Winter Guard, Russia’s answer to the Avengers. A man turns into a bear. That’s all we need in life. Also, we have Darkstar, the redheaded lady. I know I love the redhead, but I miss the original blonde Darkstar. They had best explain who this new C is and make me like her right quick or heads will roll, people.

Cinderella continues her solo miniseries by un-soloing it, getting ready for some anal intercorse with Aladdin it seems. Hussy. My favorite character, and probable nominee for Best Female Comic Character Of The Year is going to blow all of your fat asses out of the water.

Have you ever wanted to see Iron Man punch a kid in the face? Well, if you said yes, then this picture is right up your alley. If you said no, shoot yourself.