Welcome back, to the Donald. We are the home stretch and we have one final adversary regular featured in Donald cartoons. Adversaries I should say. Those nut loving faggots, Chip and Dale. As a kid and to this day, I fucking hate them. Somehow though, this cartoon, Toy Tinkerers is one of my all time favorite Donald cartoons. He isn’t even in half of it. Donald doesn’t take kindly to trespassers and of course, guns are used. It can’t be a Donald clip if a gun isn’t being brandished. As you can see, Donald does nothing to deserve their bullshittery. They just showed up and took over. Fuck Donald’s Enemies!
I’m about finished with the Teen Death Songs and it is time to give you a two-fer. These two are obviously connected. Tell Tommy I Miss Him and Tell Laura I Love Her are a happy pair. Laura came first. Poor Tommy douches it up. He wants to marry that dried out turd and is poor so he decides to go win a car race. As you can expect, mother fucker gets in a car crash. Fun fact: the only deaths in the 50s and 60s were because of car crashes. The Vietnam war was just one giant teenage car crash. Anyways, with his dying breath he says he loves the mucus pile that is Laura so good for him.
Later, Skeeter Davis said, “Hey, I don’t want to be original in anyway, so why don’t a glom on to a hit song. So she channels Laura, Tommy’s clown college of a girlfriend/near fiance and she just sings about how she is said he’s dead. And she tells the angels to pass that shit along. Then she kills herself with a bullet to the brain. A bullet to the brain in the form of a car crash. No! That bitch doesn’t kill herself. Pussy! She just sits around like some lame ass human trash heap and whines. Later, she ended up in squalor, an old spinster with a bunch of disease ridden cats.
I. Cannot. Wait. For this new show on ABC. Happy Town is, as the preview says, a Twin Peaks-esque crazy-fest and I’m chomping at the bit. Of course, it will most likely be cancelled after 5 episodes, but whatev. The series boasts a good cast. Sam Neill, from everything, appears as does Francis Conroy, the mother on Six Feet Under, Steven Weber from Wings fame and a whole bunch of other folks you have seen before, but forget from where appear. Alls I know is that I like to see who-dunnit style murders run rampant on a continuing series. This will be my Harper’s Island of 2010.
Check check it out. Preview can be seen below. “Your pussy is cuter than a mouse’s pocket book.”
It’s about time to put up a assload of music posts again so bare with me. I have disliked Cheryl Cole’s solo album away from the rest of Girls Aloud. I know part of it is because she is my least favorite member, but it also because the songs are sorta a lot meh. One song snuck through though and I have no idea. Parachute is overly catchy and I want to punch it in the throat. Maybe it’s the repetition of words that happen, yet are sung at different speeds and in different keys. I tend to like that sort of shit.
Funny story. The song is about how Cheryl has some guy that will catch her if she ever falls. Also, she sings about how “they” want to see her and her man fall. Which is funny, because her husband, footballer Ashley Cole, just became the Tiger Woods of England with like 86 mistresses coming forth. Guess no one is catching your ass now Cheryl. Go buy that parachute.
Hollyoaks cast changes continue as 11 more actors have been fired. 4 had been fired previously and 3 quit so that is 18 in one year. And I hate every character but 1! All of my favorites are sticking around thank goodness. Below is the only one I’m going to miss and she isn’t even an important character. Suzanne Ashworth is the mother of the clan of useless trolls that are the Ashworths. She gets constant grief from this mixed bag of douchery and usually maintains a fair bit of humor. Too bad the actress is shackled to those flying monkeys.
Oh the losers getting kicked the fuck out are as follows, Calvin, Leo, Sasha, Spencer, Lauren, Dave, Des, Newt, Archie, Hayley, Zak (slightly a tiny bit sad about this one), Josh, Reese, Jake, Loretta, Kris and Neville. Peace out, losers.
I have good news and bad news on the Marvel cosmic front. The bad news first. Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova are going on hiatus. This is partially to do with the low sales they get and partially to do with the good news that is coming. The Thanos Imperitive will be taking over. A 6 month mini-series tying every cosmic character together into a web of insanity. The Cancer-verse, the universe on the other side of the rip in space, The Fault, is planning to take over the Marvel Universe and a rag tag band of cosmic heroes are the only ones to stop it. As you can see from the entirely beautiful picture below, of up-most importance seems to be, of course, Thanos. Silver Surfer seems to be coming back in a big way and the surprising third star seems to be Medusa, the queen of the Inhumans and one of my top ten redheaded females of Marvel. The current stars of their respective books, Nova and Starlord can be seen below with fan favorite Rocket Raccoon. It all seems to be exciting besides that sadness up front.
I watched one of the strangest and therefore awesomest movies yesterday. It had been on my Netflix queue for ages and I finally got around to it. The Happiness of the Katakuri’s is the tale of a family who move out to the country and buy a B&B. Unfortunately, all of their guests start dying and when a body is found, or for any reason, the family starts singing and dancing. Sometimes, for action scenes, everything goes claymation and it’s batshit. The opening of the movie says it all so take a look. Always watch out for angel fetuses trying to steal your uvula.
It’s a blah day in the neighborhood and I must say TV has been sort of awful the last month. Of course, a lot of that is due to the uselessness that is the Winter Olympics. I don’t have any current television show posts coming up and it sucks a bit. Sure, things are coming back on, but it’s all a bit meh. LOST has been running strong and is interesting, but not quite as much as it should be. In a month or so, it should be insane though. Here’s hoping.
I have been watching the trainwreck that is The Bad Girls Club and, per usual, I hate pretty much every cast member. The saving grace is that freakwit, Annie, who has no business being in the house, but its fucking amazing. She hates people for their incorrect grammar. She is so witty even when she is being stupid. I love her so very much. I feel like she’s my long lost sister.
In the first clip, Annie gets shit dumped all over her and she just dances to brush that shit off. Awesome. Second clip should be started at 7:12 and ended at 8:00. Awful bitch Natalie tries to talk her down and Annie goofs her ass off and makes fun of someone’s spelling.
Oh my god. I’m having a nerdgasm. Some of my favorite ladies of Marvel are joining forces to combat a long thought dead hero turned villainess. She-Hulk, Hellcat, Emma Frost, Agent Brand, Valkyrie and Monica Rambeau vs. Frankie Raye AKA Nova, ex herald of Galactus. I cannot wait to see Hellcat and Valkyrie join forces. The most awesome thing of all is that this is a weekly series. 5 issues. 5 weeks. Pure awesome.
Hollyoaks is finally back to firing on all cylinders again with this whole Holly going missing story. Cindy, 2009 Drama Female Nominee, is in rare form. She is still in bitch mode, but she is in sad bitch mode, so it is quite a change. She’s in make up that makes her look like shit with the crying and the yelling at people about stealing her kid. Too bad Holly is just hiding out somewhere to pull one over on Cindy and Tony for being sucky parents. Here is a summary of last weeks goings on in the story.
