With TV Came Happiness

What is this pile of general insanity? Those bears sure know how to party. Especially walking on the ceiling bear. And people vomiting bear. And pregnant explosion bear. Found by Videogum.com

Frankmusik has appeared again, guest vocaling on a Computer Club track, Losing Streak. It’s not the usual Frankmusik song, extra produced and wonky but I can still get behind it. The lyrics are extra dirty as well. The line in my post title precedes more special bits. “You got cock, now it’s fine, join the back of the line”. Classy.

I’m about finished with the Teen Death Songs and it is time to give you a two-fer. These two are obviously connected. Tell Tommy I Miss Him and Tell Laura I Love Her are a happy pair. Laura came first. Poor Tommy douches it up. He wants to marry that dried out turd and is poor so he decides to go win a car race. As you can expect, mother fucker gets in a car crash. Fun fact: the only deaths in the 50s and 60s were because of car crashes. The Vietnam war was just one giant teenage car crash. Anyways, with his dying breath he says he loves the mucus pile that is Laura so good for him.

Later, Skeeter Davis said, “Hey, I don’t want to be original in anyway, so why don’t a glom on to a hit song. So she channels Laura, Tommy’s clown college of a girlfriend/near fiance and she just sings about how she is said he’s dead. And she tells the angels to pass that shit along. Then she kills herself with a bullet to the brain. A bullet to the brain in the form of a car crash. No! That bitch doesn’t kill herself. Pussy! She just sits around like some lame ass human trash heap and whines. Later, she ended up in squalor, an old spinster with a bunch of disease ridden cats.

It’s about time to put up a assload of music posts again so bare with me. I have disliked Cheryl Cole’s solo album away from the rest of Girls Aloud. I know part of it is because she is my least favorite member, but it also because the songs are sorta a lot meh. One song snuck through though and I have no idea. Parachute is overly catchy and I want to punch it in the throat. Maybe it’s the repetition of words that happen, yet are sung at different speeds and in different keys. I tend to like that sort of shit.
Funny story. The song is about how Cheryl has some guy that will catch her if she ever falls. Also, she sings about how “they” want to see her and her man fall. Which is funny, because her husband, footballer Ashley Cole, just became the Tiger Woods of England with like 86 mistresses coming forth. Guess no one is catching your ass now Cheryl. Go buy that parachute.

Hollyoaks cast changes continue as 11 more actors have been fired. 4 had been fired previously and 3 quit so that is 18 in one year. And I hate every character but 1! All of my favorites are sticking around thank goodness. Below is the only one I’m going to miss and she isn’t even an important character. Suzanne Ashworth is the mother of the clan of useless trolls that are the Ashworths. She gets constant grief from this mixed bag of douchery and usually maintains a fair bit of humor. Too bad the actress is shackled to those flying monkeys.

Oh the losers getting kicked the fuck out are as follows, Calvin, Leo, Sasha, Spencer, Lauren, Dave, Des, Newt, Archie, Hayley, Zak (slightly a tiny bit sad about this one), Josh, Reese, Jake, Loretta, Kris and Neville. Peace out, losers.

The last commercial AMC’s Aiden Turner did for Alexandria Land Rover was weird enough (see a few posts below). This commercial is soooooo much stranger. Some talk of being in love with a car and then some weird gay shit happens. Heh? The second clip is because he’s goofy cute too.

This family of freakshow clowns pleases me to no end. Crystal Swing is a red hot country trio made up of mother, son, and daughter. For whatever awful reason, someone has allowed them to produce two albums this year. And now they are on public access and supposedly on the late late show on Irish network TV. That’s right. These people are country singing Irish people. The accents make things really weird right off the bat and things get even weirder when the kids start singing sexy to each other. Durvla gives us a really special bit at 1:57 when she sings while rubbing her brother “You’re so naughty, touch my body and just call me pretty.” Familial love right there. Also worth noting is the mom’s sexy winks at 1:04 and 3:16. She knows that camera is there and she wants camera fuck you to death. Meanwhile, I have had this song in my head for 4 days. Shoot me now. FREEZE ON CREEPY SMILING FACES at 3:55

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You remember Amelia Bedelia right? Well things get a little sexy in one of the newer book. Little very sexy.

From the company that brought you Pride & Prejudice & Zombies and Sense & Sensibility & Sea Monsters comes a new classic for all to enjoy. Android Karenina. Check the synompsis below and prepare for the awesome.

As in the original novel, our story follows two relationships: the tragic adulterous romance of Anna Karenina and Count Alexei Vronsky, and the much more hopeful marriage of Nikolai Levin and Kitty Shcherbatskaya. These four, yearning for true love, live in a steampunk-inspired 19th century of mechanical butlers, extraterrestrial-worshiping cults, and airborne debutante balls. Their passions alone would be enough to consume them–but when a secret cabal of radical scientific revolutionaries launches an attack on Russian high society’s high-tech lifestyle, our heroes must fight back with all their courage, all their gadgets, and all the power of a sleek new cyborg model like nothing the world has ever seen.

To go along with this previous awesomeness we have the cover art below. I’ve never read the original, but this looks like top notch lunacy.

OH NO! I’m going to have to watch Dancing with the Stars this season. Aiden Turner, AKA the hottest soap star every created, see sexiness to follow, has been added to the list. It has been a sad few months after since Aidan (Aiden’s character’s name) left All My Children in shackles and there isn’t a hot guy for miles. Too bad. Aidan arrived on the show about when I started watching it, 2001 or something. What a lusty fellow he was. And British. And good.

I first noticed him back in the day when he was Geri Halliwell’s hot boyfriend in the video for Bag It Up (attached herein). Watch her use him as a table. Also attached is a bit of a bit from AMC where Aidan does something very hot by telling Bianca not to be such a cunt and then he punches her in the pussy. If only.


Meanwhile, WTF is this next video? Aiden goes to my local Land Rover dealership in Alexandria and talks like some sort of crazy douche. Hot douche. I love this shit.