I have good news and bad news on the Marvel cosmic front. The bad news first. Guardians of the Galaxy and Nova are going on hiatus. This is partially to do with the low sales they get and partially to do with the good news that is coming. The Thanos Imperitive will be taking over. A 6 month mini-series tying every cosmic character together into a web of insanity. The Cancer-verse, the universe on the other side of the rip in space, The Fault, is planning to take over the Marvel Universe and a rag tag band of cosmic heroes are the only ones to stop it. As you can see from the entirely beautiful picture below, of up-most importance seems to be, of course, Thanos. Silver Surfer seems to be coming back in a big way and the surprising third star seems to be Medusa, the queen of the Inhumans and one of my top ten redheaded females of Marvel. The current stars of their respective books, Nova and Starlord can be seen below with fan favorite Rocket Raccoon. It all seems to be exciting besides that sadness up front.
Comics were kind of dull this week and that’s a damned shame. Two upcoming events are causing me to become excited though. Firstly, Muppet King Arthur looks awesome, even it is only the cover thus far. JANICE is the Lady of the Lake and she looks as freakish as ever. And look! Ugly Deadly is the figurehead on the prow of Kermie’s boat.
Meanwhile, over in Marveldom, Thanos is coming back from the dead in a big way. I previously posted a cover from Guardians of the Galaxy with his return, but this cover takes the cake. A new storyline begins called the Thanos Imperitive and we have the on-shot opening salvo to drool over.
Spam. What do you do about it? I tend to laugh because it’s always pretty absurd and therefore awesome. One of my favorites of the past have been Paris Hilton getting her Biochemistry degree. What website did I sign up for what I get that type of spam? Let’s take a trip down memory lane shall we?
In response to THIS a post I did back October 27th, 2008, about Thandie Newton, I received the following spam this morning :
“The author of http://www.logorrheic.com has written an excellent article. You have made your point and there is not much to argue about. It is like the following universal truth that you can not argue with: What you look for is always in the last place you look for it… Unless you mangle your control loops. Thanks for the info.”
What the Hell does that mean? Thandie mangled her control loops when she did her Sarah Palin porn reading? I’m glad something I said was the universal truth though, because most of the things I spout are just incoherent fumbles.
Someone, “watchsuperbowl44″ tells me I should “Rock on??” So maybe she isn’t sure about whether I should continue to possibly rock.
Meanwhile, what is this bit of freakishness “Nog’s triangle choke”? Oh, it’s only a Jiu Jitsu move started by Antonio “Minotauro” Noguiera, AKA Nog, I forgot I posted about him when I recently gave my award for top concert of 2009. He was my very favorite, especially when he he sang “Your Disco Needs You” acapella. Here is the man who belted those beautiful notes. The face only a minotaur mother could love.
Just a final little deal for the awards. Ghost is character of the year, beating Dee, Tigra, Bret and Juliette in that order. Kylie’s USA tour wins for best piece of entertainment of the year, beating Little Boots, War of Kings, Mad Men, Guardians of the Galaxy, Flight of the Conchords and Orphan. Good for those folks.
One more award. Best Comic Series O’ 2009. I have some new covers for a few of these fellows so pay attention stupids. Thanos is back and looking fucking evil on the cover of April’s Guardians of the Galaxy. Tigra is being an awesome bitch on the cover of Avengers: The Initiative. The whole damn team is about to get their asses shot up on the cover of X-Factor. But who will win?
It’s too hard to explain my reasoning behind my choices so here is an easy little deal. Avengers: The Initiative takes the bottom of the ladder of 5. Incredible Hercules/ Agents of Atlas is in at 4. X-Factor slips in at 3 and Fables pulls in at 2. The winner is Guardians of the Galaxy. The damn series is out of control. Deaths, Resurrections, Time Travel, Lesbian Scissoring, Talking Russians Dogs. What more could you ask for? Talking Lesbian Russian Dogs Scissoring while the time travel to their deaths before being resurrected.
With a big concert announcement, comes my award for Best Concert of 2009. I will tell you the big news after the break. This award is fairly obvious, but not quite. Cut Copy is number 5. It was fine enough. Miike Snow was underwhelming due to the douches in the audience so 4 for that. 3 is the Frankmusik/Ladyhawke show. Both were great and I got to meet Frankmusik, but it doesn’t even come close to the top 2. Dragonette and Kylie. Dragonette exceeded all of my expectations and I can’t wait to see them again. Scoop spoiled. Kylie though, was perfect. No concert holds a candle.
The big news though, is that Little Boots, the Brit, Album, and Song of the year winner is coming to DC. And she’s bringing Dragonette with her. How sweet is that shit going to be? The answer…very.
Three more awards til the finale tally and we are now on the actual comics. Best Mini-Series of 2009. Delving right into it (you can look at my previous run through on your own assholes), Cinderela: From Fabletown with Love hasn’t progressed to the insane degree that it advertised but is still a quality character piece. It also suffers because it hasn’t finished yet. 5! Dark Reign: Young Avengers introduced some weird and awesome side characters, but I’m worried they will never be used again. 4! Hellcat: The Initiative, Agent of Your Mother, Death Bitch, or whatever long name it had was a quirky freakshow of activity, but lacked any serious that made the top two so perfect. 3!
Exiles meanwhile, doesn’t get the chance to fight for the number 1 spot due to the fact that it was originally designed an ongoing series. Great characterization, fun and complex story, but the forced shut down of the series made for a bit ( a lot ) of unfinished business. 2! War of Kings was a no-brainer. Everything Marvel Cosmic is pure gold and this is no exception. Overarching story-telling at it’s finest. Real ramifications for the Marvel Universe and a handful or incredible important, shocking deaths made this a must-read. Also, the picture below, previously put up, lands as my second favorite (behind the gay kiss) panel of the year. I don;t think a comic has made my heart palpitate besides this closing shot from the first issue. P.S. I will never reuse a picture again, I promise.
The Golden Globes, or as I like to call them, the stupid man’s Oscars are tomorrow and I for one am apathetic. This year’s movies were mostly dull and the tv nominees are mostly meh. I’ll give a brief synopsis of the things I care about. Of course, Mad Men and 30 Rock to sweep. Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, January Jones, Jon Hamm. Best supporting actress tv is Jane Lynch.
In regards to movies, I’m having a hard time between Inglourious Basterds and Up in the Air, but whatever, they should both win some stuff. Also, Julianne Moore for A Single Man, the bit of life in that drab affair or a movie. Other stuff, NINE sucked so hard. I saw it tonight and wanted to die. Fergie looked like a cat that was thrown onto a stage, vomited on and then forced to perform sex acts. After 45 minutes I started laughing because it was a crock of fucking shit. A brief good portion appeared when Penelope Cruz did anything, but after her suicide attempt, I got bored and took a 30 minute eyes closed, still listening, rest. Kate Hudson’s role should only be spoken of in hushed tones. My anus can sing better.
